Welcome to Strange Days, a collection of stories found around the interweb that will make you smack your head, sigh with wonder, or just say to yourself, “Well, that’s stupid.” Today: making good use of beer, an 80-year-old woman facing prison, and a really, really old dog. 

• Eastern Alaska — A man named Clifton Vial crashes his truck into a snowdrift 40 miles north of Nome. Alone and unable to dig himself out, he searches his car and finds only three frozen cans of Coors Light. He survives for three days on the Coors Light before being rescued. Wonder if the cans were still cold-certified by the time he was found? Inquiring minds want to know. [ Time ]    
• USA — Sticking with the alcohol theme, the FDA recently approved a new hangover pill. It’s a tablet that you dissolve in water and contains aspirin, caffeine and something that soothes your stomach. Frat boys, rejoice; now you can get bombed, and while you’ll still miss your 8 a.m. class the next morning, at least you’ll have a comfortable sleep. If this thing works, of course. The pill’s called Blowfish. Best Blowfish since Hootie? Best blowfish since Hootie. [ Business Insider ]
• Berre l’Etang, France — Parents take a school hostage because they’re upset over the quality of education their 9 and 10-year-old kids are receiving from a first-year teacher. Now that’s being involved in your kid’s life; as they (don’t) say, an oeil for oeil. It’s also further proof that the French will protest anything. (Having a French girlfriend gives me carte blanche to make fun of them as I see fit. See what I did there?)   [ The Local ]
• Lynn, Massachusetts — Claire Butcher, an 80-year-old woman has fed the ducks at a local pond for 45 years. That was fine and dandy until city officials, and neighbours, started to raise a stink about the shopping cart full of food that Butcher carried around with her. It seems that Butcher’s feeding has led to unmanageable amounts of animal feces and rats. The city’s launched a criminal complaint against her and Butcher faces 30 days in jail. I don’t know, to me it sounds like a tailor-made story for Bart’s People. (“Some say the ducks went to Canada. Others say Toronto.”) [ CBS Boston ]
• Tokyo – The world’s oldest dog has died. Pusuke, a Shiba mix, was born in 1985 (!!) and made it to 26 years and eight months before taking ill. Still, Pusuke fell short of the all-time Guiness record holder, an Australian cattle dog that made it to 29-years-old before dying in 1939. And I thought my 17-year-old cockapoo, Teddy, was getting on. Only 12 more years to go, buddy! God, I can’t imagine.  [ USA Today ]

Texas Governor and GOP presidential nominee Rick Perry, whose support has dipped to about 5 per cent amongst his party, is making sure he stays top-of-mind. And while his new ad is getting attention, it appears that Youtube users, at least, aren’t buying what he’s selling.

For the video-impaired, here’s what Perry says:

I’m not ashamed to admit that I’m a Christian, but you don’t need to be in the pew every Sunday to know there’s something wrong in this country when gays can serve openly in the military but our kids can’t openly celebrate Christmas or pray in school.

As President, I’ll end Obama’s war on religion. And I’ll fight against liberal attacks on our religious heritage.
Faith made America strong. It can make her strong again.
I’m Rick Perry and I approve this message.

The problem for Perry? Putting aside the video’s contents, whoever uploaded the video to Youtube ( I’m taking a wild guess and saying it was not Perry himself) didn’t disable the “like” and “dislike” feature. Does the Internet approve of Perry’s message? It appears not.

Perry’s video is  gathering “dislikes” at an incredible pace; such is the instantaneous power of the Internet. A sampling on this fine evening (Dec. 7):

• 7:29 p.m.  EST: 903 likes, 37,793 dislikes
• 7 :39 p.m. EST:  960 likes. 40,806 dislikes
• 7:49 p.m. EST: 999 likes, 42,634 dislikes
• Update: 10:53 p.m. EST: 1,928 likes, 80,365 dislikes.

Over the past few season, Nikolai Kulemin has been among the most consistent Leafs forwards. But through 28 games of the 2011-12 campaign, he’s been among their most disappointing.

Kulemin was held pointless in the Leafs’ 3-2 loss to the New Jersey Devils on Dec. 6, extending his goalless drought to a career-high 20 games. After showing steady improvement over his first two seasons in the league, Kulemin’s production has dropped off the map. Why?

For one thing, you can’t score if you don’t shoot: Kulemin has failed to register a shot on goal during the Leafs’ past four games. He’s managed just 40 shots on goal so far this season, which puts him on pace for 117 on the year. That would be the lowest output of his career.

But even when Kulemin is getting pucks on net, they’re not going in for him. Last year, he lit the lamp 17.3 per cent of the time en route to a 30-goal campaign. This year, his shooting percentage has dropped to an anemic five per cent, tallying only 2 goals.

To be fair, it’s been a tough year for Kulemin off the ice. He lost one of his good friends, former Leaf Igor Larionov in that devestating Lokomotiv Yaroslavl plane crash this summer.

Now, Kulemin is playing like he’s lost his confidence on the ice, which was exemplified during the Leafs’ 4-2 win over the New York Rangers on Dec. 5. During that game, Kulemin picked up the puck in the neutral zone, setting up a 2-on-1 for the Buds. With the Rangers’ defenseman cheating, Kulemin had space to drive to the net — like he did so well for much of last year — and get a shot on Rangers goalie Henrik Lundqvist. Instead, he passed the puck, got it back, and missed the net entirely.

Leafs coach Ron Wilson told the Toronto Sun’s Steve Buffery that he’s not overly concerned with Kulemin’s play… yet:

“We’ve talked,” said Wilson. “We’re being as encouraging as we possibly can. The puck is eventually going to go in the net. He’s getting opportunities, but he’s a forechecker and unfortunately he hasn’t had much — and I keep using this term — puck luck this year. But he’s contributing in other ways and he’s eventually going to score. And once he scores, there will probably be a number of goals coming from him in a flood. That’s what I would hope.”

For all the faith Wilson professes to have in the 25-year-old, Kulemin played a season-low 10:52 in the game after that article was published.

Perhaps his reduced offensive output is symptomatic of the diminished role for his line with Mikhail Grabovski and Clarke MacArthur. Last year, they were unquestionably the Leafs’ top line; this year, because of injuries and inconsistency, they just haven’t been able to get rolling like they did a season ago. While neither of his linemates have had outstanding seasons, it’s Kulemin’s game that’s dropped off most noticeably. And recently, Wilson has been splitting the line up – when they’re all in the lineup, that is.

For a Leafs offense that is leaning heavily on the output of Phil Kessel, Joffrey Lupul and Tyler Bozak, secondary scoring will be a crucial element if the team hopes to get in to the playoffs. So far, the Leafs’ dependence on their top line hasn’t come back to bite them.

But over the course of the season, you can bet that it will. Opposing teams are focusing heavily on the top trio, and it will be up to players like Kulemin to shoulder some of the offensive load.

(Benstonium via Puck Daddy)

Check out this video featuring the excellent Jiam Ghomeshi talking to the Black Keys, Dan Auerbach and Patrick Carney, about the idea of selling out.

I have to say, I totally agree with their viewpoint here. They’ve made seven albums since 2001, and have only recently gained mainstream recognition. And they didn’t get famous because they changed their sound.

There’s no doubt that turning down 200,000 GBP for their track to appear in a mayo commercial was a bad play. At some point, being able to support yourself is more important than the opinions of anonymous faces on the Internet. It’s refreshing to see them acknowledge the error of their ways.

They haven’t changed much, their band grew virally, and now corporate America wants a piece. It’s hard to picture someone criticizing them for that. I say kudos to the Keys. What do you think?

Thanks to Brad for the heads up. @brollybain

Scott Milanovich is the new head coach of the Toronto Argonauts. He’s also the answer to an extremely obscure sports trivia question.

In 2001, Milanovich, now 38, was the first ever pick in the only XFL Draft. He didn’t end up playing much, stuck behind Tommy Maddox on the team’s depth chart. Maddox went on to a moderately successful second try at the NFL, while Milanovich finished his playing career in the CFL, backing up for Calgary in 2003 under Jim Barker.

The two leagues are weirdly linked. Vince McMahon actually started the XFL after being rebuffed in his attempt to buy the CFL — yes, the entire league. God knows how that would have turned out. Likely something like this.

Today, McMahon’s much-maligned experiment is remembered for a few things: wacky rules, stupid cross-promotion with WWE, the Madden-style flying camera, and players being allowed to customize their names on their jerseys (“He Hate Me.”)  The league tried to legitimize itself by the end of its first-and-last season, but by then, nobody was watching and the damage was more than done.

Playing a schedule that kicked off in February 2001, the league attracted some CFL players. A number of other players moved on to the Canadian game after the XFL folded. Let’s take a look at five players who have found the most success in both leagues.

Noel Prefontaine
Los Angeles Xtreme (XFL ); Toronto Argonauts, Edmonton Eskimos (CFL)

“Pre” has mostly been a CFL guy throughout his career, which began in 1998 with the Argos. The dependable punter played for the champion LA Xtreme (obviously one of the dumbest names in the history of sports) in the spring of 2001, and was listed as the team’s third quarterback. Prefontaine then had training camp cups of coffee with the Baltimore Ravens had Kansas City Chiefs, but neither worked out. After Toronto shipped him to Edmonton in 2008, Prefontaine fired some shots at the Argos in the media. It didn’t seem to matter much in the long run, as he returned to the team in 2010.

Marcus Crandell
Memphis Maniax (XFL); Edmonton Eskimos, Calgary Stampeders, Saskatchewan Roughriders (CFL)

Crandell, a quarterback, signed with the Edmonton Eskimos after graduating from East Carolina. He spent three as a backup in Alberta before joining the Memphis Maniax (more stupid than Xtreme?) Crandell struggled during his year in Memphis and completed just 47.8% of his passes before being replaced by NFL washout Jim Druckenmiller. He found more success upon his return north, pivoting the Calgary Stampeders to an unlikely Grey Cup in 2001. Crandell could run and throw, but his career was marked by inconsistency. He joined Saskatchewan in 2005 and retired in 2008.  He’s now the offensive coordinator for his first pro team, the Edmonton Eskimos.

Paul McCallum
Las Vegas Outlaws (XFL); Saskatchewan Roughriders, BC Lions (CFL)

Avery was the dominant running back in the XFL, rushing for a league-leading 800 yards and 5 touchdowns. He parlayed that success into a contract with the Dallas Cowboys, but was cut after training camp. So Avery headed north to the Edmonton Eskimos and proceeded to rip up the CFL. He led the league with 1448 yards. After spending 2003 primarily as a kick returner with the Minnesota Vikings he returned to the CFL – with a bum knee. His final four years in the league  were disappointing, with his sometimes-comedic television appearances proving more memorable.

Jermaine Copeland
Los Angeles Xtreme (XFL); Montreal Alouettes, Calgary Stampeders, Toronto Argos (CFL)

Copeland played with Peyton Manning at Tennessee but never had the speed to be a regular NFL wideout. With that said, he’s put up prolific numbers at every stop in his pro career (until the last few, with the miserable Argos.) He led the XFL in receptions with 67 in 8 games. Like Avery, he had a failed training camp stint with the Dallas Cowboys before signing with the Montreal Alouettes. Copeland has put together an impressive CFL career since then, as he is a three-time all-star and one of 15 players to amass 10,000 receiving yards in the CFL.

Consider the case of Paulina Gretzky. The Great One’s 22-year-old daughter’s claim to fame thus far is — well, being Wayne Gretzky’s daughter. Honestly, I don’t think too many people had heard of her before a couple of weeks ago.

But Paulina’s profile has risen in the past week, owing to the controversy over her Twitter account. Seems Paulina has taken to posting photos of herself while not wearing too much in the way of clothing.

In today’s society, I wouldn’t even call most of the photos particularly racy.  Hell, it is the Internet, after all.

But the photos definitely don’t jive with her famous father’s squeaky-clean public person. Wayne, as Greg Wyshynski points out, could have been a party animal during his Los Angeles days – the difference being that, in those days, the concept of a camera phone seemed like something out of Star Trek. Now, everyone even remotely tied to some level of “fame” is under the microscrope every minute of their lives.

Paulina apparently shut down her account shortly after posting the following:

“Having a nice sit down dinner with my dad about social media..haha #SIKEEE”

Some speculated that the move came because of Wayne potentially becoming involved with a new ownership group of Maple Leafs Sports & Entertainment. Even though that story’s now been squashed, I doubt that was ever the concern for Wayne.

This has nothing to do with any of Gretzky’s potential business ventures, and more to do with protecting the family name. The Gretzky name is virtually Teflon in Canada – any criticism throughout his career has mostly been performance-based, not an attack on his family’s character (except maybe for this.) Wayne would probably be fine if his family would behave themselves.

Of course, a few days later, Paulina returned with this tweet.

Chances of her Dad not finding out about this? Zero percent.

So we’ll wait and see how this plays out from here. For now, her account is back, but appears to have been scrubbed of its most risqué photos. Her profile picture is now a wholesome shot of her and her family at what looks to be the Vancouver Olympics. The tweet about not telling her Dad is gone now, too.

What really set Wayne off? Probably not the following, but If I had a 22-year-old daughter, nothing would strike more fear in me:

Puck Daddy - Did the Great One shut down Paulina Gretzky’s tantalizing Twitter?
Calgary Herald – Gallery: Kids of celebrities who got totally out of control

]]> http://culturethoughts.com/2011/12/01/paulina-gretzky-back-on-twitter-wait-no-shes-not-wait-yes-she-is/feed/ 0 jspratt paulina-gretzky paulina-gretzky-twitter biznasty-paulina http://culturethoughts.com/2011/12/01/grammy-nominees-released/ http://culturethoughts.com/2011/12/01/grammy-nominees-released/#comments Thu, 01 Dec 2011 05:00:25 +0000 jspratt http://culturethoughts.com/?p=145 Continue reading →]]> The music industry’s yearly exercise in irrelevant subjectivity, The Grammy’s, take place Feb. 12. The nominations were announced today. Hey, look at Wilco getting a nom for best rock album! Although, up against Foo Fighters, Kings of Leon and Red Hot Chili Peppers, I don’t like their chances too much.

Kanye West leads with seven nominations, while Adele is up for album, record and song of the year. Not a bad debut performance. I wouldn’t be surprised if she wins all three of her categories.

If so, hopefully she’s a more graceful winner than Eddie Vedder. 

[ Full list of nominees ]

[ Rolling Stone ]

Here is Swiss pilot Yves Rossy flying his jet-propelled wing. According to his website, he began experimenting with designs as far back as 1993. Jetman.com goes on:

“In 2005, [Rossy] completed two successful flights under a wing fitted with two jet engines.  A long year of hard work and the addition of two additional jet engines were needed for the wing to attain the required level of performance and safety. This prototype with 4 jet engines, guided only with the movements of his body, allows a stabilized ascension of the flight. This was the flight of November 2006, in Bex, a  dream lasting 5 minutes and 40 seconds.”

Rossy is the only person in aviation history to fly one of these things. In 2008, he crossed the English Channel with one.

Shades of The Rocketeer, no? I’ve got to say, it looks slightly more practical than a Segway.

I bow to you, Jetman. Now get to work on flying cars and we’ll be set.

I had never heard of Peep World before it popped up on the “Newly Added” section of the free OnDemand channel. But the description did list it as a comedy starring Michael C. Hall and Sarah Silverman, so I gave it a shot.

And though there are a few funny moments, the deliberately-uncomfortable screenplay mostly misses its mark, failing to elicit sympathy for any of its characters.

Peep World revolves around the Meyerwitz clan: Jack, the family’s partriarch, is a wealthy real estate developer. Youngest son Nathan (played by the perfectly unlikeable Ben Schwatrz) has penned a novel, ostensibly about growing up in the family; although he’s changed the character’s names, there’s no mistaking who they’re modeled after.  The film revolves around the leadup to an annual dinner that the four grown-up children have with their father and divorced mother.

The Meyerwitz family is an offbeat bunch, each child flawed in their own way. Hall plays Jack, the “successful” brother who, as it turns out, isn’t all that successful. But he does serve  to hold the family together, if only by a thread. He helps Joel out with money — even though he shouldn’t — and tries to keep Cheri and Nathan from each other’s throats.

Rainn Wilson plays Joel, probably the worst-off of the bunch. Joel lives in a dumpy apartment, and has been through rehab and failed the Bar exam multiple times by his late 30s.

And Silverman is well-suited in her role as Cheri, the Daddy’s girl of the bunch who has serious issues with Nathan’s book, threatening to sue him at every turn.

While the cast is strong, they’re mostly wasted here. You may see traces of yourself in any of the characters, but nobody is easy to empathize with. Clearly, they’re not supposed to be particularly relatable, but at barely 80 minutes, the film wraps up before we know what these people are all about. We find out a small amount about each of their backstories, but little about who they actually are.

If there was a section on the OnDemand for dark comedies, Peep World would fit more comfortably there. But the occasional comic moments don’t make the film any easier to stomach.

These characters are impossible to really care about, so the film’s climax rings empty.  Despite a star-studded cast, you just won’t give a peep.

Rating: * *  out of 5

photo: IFC